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This Strange Confinement

by Dede Booth

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1.
2.
See it rising through the day. Far from us but close to home, casting shadows. Feel the warmth from distant rays, these dying waves. Born to burn, the light shines down as life is torn to the end of the world. It fuels the way for us to see, slowly sinders what we need. And a God is born in controversy. Born to burn, the light shines down as life is torn to the end of the world. Soaking in a death machine, dissolving all the everything. Born to burn, the light shines down as life is torn to the end of the world.
3.
Echo the story in your own words. Play back familiarity in your voice. I soak up everything you say right under my skin. Too much of you feels like me. Release this energy from me. The other me on the other side of the room. The other me as the other feels it's too soon. Weighted, I need to shed some of your darkness off. My heart is panged as you describe the wounds of your life. Emotions tie themselves into knots I cling to. A heavy burden etched in me and hidden secrets are never free. Your voice in my thoughts stick to me. Speak my mind, I believed in you. The other me on the other side of the room. The other me as the other feels it's too soon.
4.
5.
6.
Follow me from a guided light that narrows down these corridors I see. Come to me through shorter days. The same throughout, routinely makes the break. Confine me through the open of my mind and hold me down into silence. What am I outside of the voice of what I'm used to? Predictable with a blind fold on. Know the way with little room to breathe. With the safety on, I won't go far. No "could have beens" or "what if" I change route. Confine me through the open of my mind and hold me down into silence. What am I outside of the voice of what I'm used to?
7.
The only thing I've known, I'm not meant for this. I'm walking in circles, cracked egg shells under feet. The mind slowly crumbles, living for no change. And I'm stuck knowing my pulse continues the beating. Prisoner of thought. An automatic sign taken as a fact. Why question my own mind, the noose I believe, when everything feels sane and pain proves me right? So I'm stuck knowing my heart skips to the punch line. Prisoner of thought. My beliefs leave me hanging. Prisoner of thought. My beliefs leave me hanging.
8.
Stuck and the water seems to take a lap backwards, but it's impossible to stop, it has to keep on moving no matter how it seems so still and damned, no matter how hard it pushes back. Move forward now, make nothing become the seeds we plant for the life we grow, and take it back. Take it back. Rage, splash against the tide, a ripple effect, and when the waves come crashing through it leaves a space for clarity, a river wide enough to face its fears, a river brave enough to go with the flow. Move forward now, make nothing become the seeds we plant for the life we grow, and take it back. Take it back. Living in balance of a nightmare to a dream. In search of middle ground and moving toward what it means. Move forward now, make nothing become the seeds we plant for the life we grow, and take it back. Take it back.
9.
So close, I feel you, I hear you, can't see you. My expectation's contradict where I am, my motivation's burning out the flame that guides my light. And everything inside screaming to be out, but something's telling me it's not my night. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. What do I have to do? So close, you promised, you swore, yet not here. My patience wearing thin, the lies that I've been told. My future hanging in the balance of what someone else decides. "Just wait another day" but shit that's getting old. I'd rather hold my breath and see how long it takes. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. What do I have to do? Freedom's where my mind thinks it is. Freedom's just a voice telling me what I need to hear. So close. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. Working for the freedom. What do I have to do?
10.
11.
What if I could be the board instead of the pieces of this game? Observe the moves at play instead of playing against myself? Trying to find a way to win against my own piece of mind. Always in a stale mate every time I make my next move. Allow it to unfold and be the one who holds the thoughts and the feelings that try so hard to take hold. Disengage the play to see how it could relate to all of this. Allow myself to see my mind instead of react to this mess. Allow it to unfold and be the one who holds the thoughts and the feelings that try so hard to take hold. I patiently wait for my time to breathe a self defused from anger, pain, sadness, fear. No doubt or hate, guilt or shame. I patiently wait for my time to breathe a self defused from anger, pain, sadness, fear. No doubt or hate, guilt or shame. Detach unwind a self removed. A self remove.
12.
I turn the day without you, do I trust myself? Whatever thing's inside overcome. A weakened strength within me, a lack of confidence but the time is now. This could be the last time I see you, I think I have found my way. No until we meet again, this is the end. This is the end. A secret kept between us, but did you ever know I wanted more than ever to be alone? Recovered from the decades of dying in the sand, the hours lose themselves. This could be the last time I see you, I think I have found my way. No until we meet again, this is the end. This is the end.
13.

about

It began after a visit to the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, PA. Struck by the restoration of concrete and nature, the Earth literally uprooting itself into various cell blocks, I began to reflect on themes of confinement, my first thoughts taking me through the negative impact the prison system has on economic growth, and then slowly, methodically expanding my thoughts to rather self-imposed forms of existential entanglement. The record's concept follows the story of our protagonist's struggle to break free from their own internal confinement, desperately trying to experience existence as more than the sum of their wiring, and yearning for the quietude of clarity. In the midst of the protagonist's journey, I chose to widen the issue of confinement by exploring our climate and the impact the Sun has on the Earth, the mental health system and its role on stigmatization, and the juxtaposition of employment and our constant drive that's fueled by expectation. Our protagonist, numb to these issues at large, struggles to connect, and it is only through a practice of acceptance, are they able to live beyond the notion of a self and find peace in the very thing that contains them. I invite you to break free from the auditory confinement of what you're used to hearing and expand beyond the truths that hold us back. Listen freely and enjoy. - DB

“[This Strange Confinement] undoubtedly has the ambition to draw the recipient into a process of deeper self-reflection, to reflect on the condition of the human race and to experience the hope that a sense of freedom brings” (MLWZ.pl, Feb 2020)

“A combination of The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banchees, and Steven Wilson. Definitely something you might want to check out” (Strutter Zine, Jan 2020)

“A very good album, a definite concept” (Sea of Tranquility, Dec 2019)

credits

released November 15, 2019

Guitars, Drums, Keys, Vocals - Dede Booth
Lyrics - Dede Booth
Production - Dede Booth
Cover Art - Dede Booth

Promotional headshots - Eliza Kopleman

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Dede Booth Boston, Massachusetts

Dede Booth is a Boston-based drummer turned multi-instrumentalist who writes about the human condition through prog/post/art rock sounds

"Booth's ability to convey complex narratives through music is a testament to her artistry." (Prog Sphere)

"A talented musician." (Strutter)

“A one woman tour-de-force.” (The Metronome)

“Irresistibly compelling.” (Progression)

“Ineffably moving.” (The Noise)
... more

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